The Day I was banned from a grand day out

The Day I was banned from the club

I had a right crap day on Sunday. I fancied a nice day out so thought I would organise an event so people would think I'm somebody, get to network with the world of comedy and be noticed by the world’s media.

Great..Idea I thought to myself, however being lazy and idle I thought I would let others do the work and this to my great surprise is where things took a downwards turn.As you have been reading in my Blog the adventures of Mini Me Hulk you would have seen how I have at times (if not all my life) made a complete and utter twat of myself. I never learn and never will. (Far too dense and stupid)A few months before the event I had pestered and rubbed up the wrong way many people in my quest for fame and fortune without lifting a finger.

I even tried to get a Wiki entry BUT THE BASTARDS DONT THINK I HAVE DONE ANYTHING OF NOTE. BASTARDS, BASTARDS, BASTARDS.

The last straw was when I was put in my place by the people who got pissed off with my lazy ways a few weeks ago, and had the audacity to tell me outright, “PLEB, YOUR NAMES NOT DOWN, YOUR NOT COMMING IN, NOW DO ONE STINK BREATH”. I told them as I went all raging marry and shook my fists in a hissy fit...I WILL SHOW YOU. ERRRRRR” I then put the phone down and started to let my mind wonder as to how I could get in. Then A light bulb went off in my head “BING” I know I will make out I have a party of my own, that will show them. I will invite all my mates and we will laugh out very loud so everyone can hear what fun we are having and how popular I am. Only one problem. I don't have friends /except the ones in my mind) even the Diddy men wanted to kick my head in, not much money as I have not worked since Ken Dodd was done for Tax evasion other than for a gaming site. What’s more, other than snide emails, sneaky phone calls to the press Grassing to a paper that I worked for people who were doing the work and slagging of members of a family.. Even Cyber stalking on all the sites,

I'm not very good at the grafting stuff. So I just did what I normally do attempted to plaster the Internet on free sites like Face book Gumtree, etc and making sure everyone knew that it was me that did the work “I STARTED IT, ME ME ME” and that I was having my own party ner ner nernaaaa,, however other people started to read it and took it for what it was. A crock of Poo from a weirdo trying to get people to a Pub on the back of other people’s hard work just so he can make out he has mates, well you know the saying “you can't arrange a piss up in a brewery” as I was told constantly by mister Dodd. I was desperate for people to think I was in control of the situation, I did not want people to see I had lost and lost so badly, So I made very unprofessional ads with a hotmail and then Work Email address is that not a very bad thing for your new boss to know about???) , no set contact number other than a mobile no main admin site so people could see it was professional . I tried to get the press interested in my event and not theirs, by sneaky calls but it backfired as SKY News knew I was self-promoting when I kept ringing them this week.. and have taken no notice of me...They too know I'm a buffoon, and at the same time I begged in vain to the main event organisers please let me have a ticket, hoping they may just change their minds.

Sadly as I tried to get in I found out my photo mug shot a very long one to fit my chin in was with the security men and a few others near the barriers. I thought I could bluff my way in but sadly it’s hard not to spot a 4 ft dwarf with a Chin that big it scraps on the floor a Mekong crater forehead that could advertise a bill board poster and teeth like I have been sucking on a dog toffee all my life... So I went to the pub and drank on my own........that will show em I thought as I could hear them all laughing at my expense..... For a second, then I was forgotten about again and they all moved on. Why am I so insignificant and a laughing stock?